Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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