Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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