so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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