I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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