All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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