I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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