did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My pussy is not your playground.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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