..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
