Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize