Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
