i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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