I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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