There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize