great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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