what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
