I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
