conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I forget how to act sober
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