Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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