The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
