Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
