I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
