But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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