No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
