I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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