I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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