Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
