I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
