I think I am morally bankrupt
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize