Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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