Porn is love you can see.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
