Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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