hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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