RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
