I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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