Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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