he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
