we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
