i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
