just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
