We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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