A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
