I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
