Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

someone threw a dead crab at me

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(613): View more from Ontario

Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

(1-613): View more from Ontario

no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

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(818): View more from California

sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom

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(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.

(585): View more from New York

Im not drinking im slurping

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