I wish they made helmets for livers.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
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