oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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