It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
