They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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