come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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