whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
