On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
