I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
