we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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