I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
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there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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