Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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