I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
