I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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