I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize