She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I believe in your delicious
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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