so that wasnt chicken after all
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
