2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
