They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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