I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
