yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I currently don't understand fingers.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
