Got a toothbrush?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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