two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we're making bets on your personal life
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize