If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
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