its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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