all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
