she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
