I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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